|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I read this quote, over and over, and I must ask myself...have we crossed that line? Everyday that we're out there, gathering materials, overwhelming dealers, fighting the good fight...I ask myself if it's all worth it. In the beginning, it was easy to be idealistic-after all, we were so few, and had clear-cut targets. But now, as our ranks swell, and our missions become even more diverse...I wonder if we don't come closer every day to becoming that which we have fought so hard against. The lines are getting blurrier, the true enemies not so easily visable. As we infiltrate other organizations, so don't they, in some small way, infiltrate us? We have become more than a simple backwoods militia, using guerilla-warefare tactics...we have become a political entity, lobbying behind the scenes, pushing an agenda that is supposed to be for the benefit of all...and yet, we are not thanked for it. We are ridiculed for our efforts, scoffed at every step of the way. True, the hardcore believers are behind us...but what about the others? The average, everyday citizan? They could give a damn about us. They don't understand us, say we are obsessed, defective, that we are doing harm. What harm, is there, in helping out a fellow transfan? None, I say! If anything, it is the others who harm us! I walk thru the hallowed halls of the TFM Warehouse, stocked to overflowing with transformer figures and accessories, I have to ask myself: is it worth it? To those that benefit directly from our services, the answer is a resounding YES! But still, I worry... The forklifts and moving vans trickle out of here slower everyday, while the influx of new materials grows...true, I myself geared things to be dumped en-masse at BotCon, and I am confident that we will have another excellent year... But still, I worry... The responsibilities I have to the people of this organization grow every day. And there seems to be no relief in sight. I cannot resign my duties; for there is no one else willing or able to take my place. Who else can I trust with such an awsome responsibility? The leaders? They have worries of their own...I cannot place my burdens on their shoulders. Every mission, whether succesful, or a failure, weighs on my conscience...the BotCon mission, in particular, haunts my every waking moment. That issue is still not resolved, even after two years...RedAlert is still in jail, the Feds still have their noses in the case...about the only thing I can be thankful for is the emotional scars of those involved have healed to the point where they have gone back to active duty. Which is a good thing; I need operatives I can trust; those that have been there from the beginning. Rachael and RC have proven invaluable to me countless times, and their leadership in the field is needed now more than ever. Especially with all the new recruits. They need guidance. And I can't be everywhere at once, despite my reputation. So you tell me...is it worth it? Are we still doing what's RIGHT...or have we somehow crossed overthe line? Go to the site. Read the mission logs. Go thru my personal diary. Look at the pictures from the warehouse. And tell me-am I doing the right thing? Or have we somehow lost our direction along the way? I fear that we might have. But i must preservere. People need me...need us, need the TFM. We can't lose sight of our original goal. No matter what, we will remain true to the principles upon which we were founded. You can count on it. Yours in the Cause!
     |
|
|
|
|