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The Dutchbotters Devvi and Argus take on another mission...if they can ever leave the pub. Argus: “Jongen, ik ben me toch dronken!!! Haha” Devvi: “He, ik wist niet dat Fred dit kon vertalen!” Argus: “Dat kan hij niet! Dat was een goodelijke interventie!” Devvi: “Heb ik al verteld dat Fred de beste is?”
Argus: “Ik ben het er mee eens, maar laten we verder gaan met het verhaal! (hik! Boertje)” |
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Part 1. (note: mission log translated to english for our audience from here on in...) The scene: A local pub in the lively little hamlet of Haverstead. It is a lovely spring day, with warm, mild, moist temperatures. The swallows are flitting about, plump from the generous bread-droppings of the townsfolk. Devvi and Argus are sitting outside the steps of the Goose and Gander, a lovely wood and stone building, and their favorite morning drinking establishment. In actuality, it is their favorite late-night drinking establishment; they simply drank so late into the night that it was morning before they left... Argus: “Ooooh, remind me never to drink like that again.” (clutches rail for support as he squints painfully into the morning sun) Devvi: “Only if you do the same for me. Oh Primus, the pain...” (Doubles over in agony at the bottom of the stone steps) Argus: “It’s all so blurry...who was that woman I had sex with?” Devvi: “I think it was the bartender.” Argus: “Helga the one-armed widowmaker?” Devvi: “That’s the one.” Argus: “.*.” (faints) Devvi: (barely catches Argus as he topples down the steps)“Damn man, not you too...ooooooh...” (passes out as well) (Four hours later, Argus and Devvi awaken in each other’s arms in the dirt in front of the pub. The sun now burns brightly overhead as they struggle to stand back up.) Argus: (spitting dirt out) “Ptew!” This is worse than cotton-mouth.” Devvi: “woo fink aatsaad, I’aat aearrr oufh.” Argus: “What?” Devvi: (spits out paper) “ptew! I said, ‘you think that’s bad, I’ve got paper-mouth’.” Argus: “So what’s with the paper?” Devvi: “I dunno. Somebody shoved it into my mouth when I was unconscious. It’s probably a convenient plot device.” (unrolls paper) “Yep, just as I thought. It’s our mission. Signed by the Boss himself.” Argus: “So the Boss, or one of his underlings, came by while we were asleep, found us unconscious, and instead of helping us, they left us here, and shoved this paper into your mouth? (checks pocket) AND took my wallet!? This sucks!” Devvi: “That ain’t the half of it. Have a look at these orders.” (Devvi and Argus read the letter outlining their mission:) Good Morning Gentleman, Today’s mission is rather straight-forward. Assuming you can drag your butts off the barstool, we need you to perform two small errands for us. You are authorized to use all Special Operative resources to complete these tasks. Enclosed are two plane tickets, along with your passports and identifications for this mission. You will be flying to Canada in a two-pronged operation. First, you must pick up a package that will be delivered to you by three of our local operatives, for return to the TFM Warehouse. Second, you must asassinate one of those operatives; the one who goes by the name Lexicon. Spare Shaminos and Z-knight if possible, but if they offer any resistance to your mission objectives, you will do what is necessary. I trust you will understand. Yours in the Cause. Argus: “Um...wow.” Devvi: “That’s not the half of it. There’s a picture enclosed of our target. Have a look.” Argus: (peers at photo)“That looks like Char.” Devvi. “It IS Char. Lexicon must be her code-name within the organization. Why do you suppose we’ve been instructed to take her out? It doesn’t make sense.” Argus: “Dude, does it matter why? We’ve been given a mission. Let’s just do it and get it over with. We can question it later over drinks.” Devvi: “Yea, but...this isn’t the first report I’ve heard about our operatives getting offed. What’s going on at HQ? Are they trying to weed us out? And if so, why?” Argus: “Probably for asking too-many questions. Don’t worry about it. Let’s go.” Devvi: “And how do we get to the airport?” Argus: “On Scooter, of course.” Devvi: “Your girlfriend’s moped? Man, I’m getting too-old for this.” (Argus, with Devvi riding in the front basket, ride out of town and head for the Big City, and the airport...)
End of Part One. |
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