Fred's Big City Adventure!

Dateline: May 16th, 2011

It was a dark and stormy night... is what we've been told *never* to start a novel with. And yet, if you are being ironic, it seems perfectly fine.

So I had no illusions about Transformers 3. I was not going to buy a single gosh-darn toy! I held fast to this resolve until Lewis called me and told me that tomorrow was the official release of Movie 3 toys.


OK, well, I would look, but I would not buy!

So early in the morning, I set out for the toy store. This is about an hours trip away, as I apparently live in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cows and corn.

Off I go! The weather looked a little iffy...

And then boom goes the dynamite. Complete washout. Had to pull over for a bit while the storm passed. One thing you get used to is sudden weather. You can use your heater in the morning and your air conditioner at night, and this was no exception.

So the weather lightens up, and I pull into town. Next to me, a daring fellow is driving around with some missing body parts:

So here I am, finally, at the store. Was going to go to the TRU; they didn't open for an hour, so I went to the walmart that I never go to (because it's a bad part of town, and they never have anything), and to what do my wondering eyes do appear:

Yep. An entire palette of Tfs!

It's still a thrill, you know, finding this sort of thing. I spent time talking with Matt (yea, I know, shocker that I met yet another Matt) and he was telling me some interesting stories about Transformers and a one-legged prostitue that I won't go into here.

Needless to say, this is what the wall looked like before any toys were put up:

Cool. An entire aisle dedicated to something I'm not going to buy. Speaking of not buying, if I were to buy all these toys today, the cost would come to about 460 bucks and fill an entire shopping cart:

Which would not leave him with much to put on his shelf.

Luckily, I did no such thing, and instead left the store with my dignity intact.

Later, I visited the bathroom of a surplus store, and found the great whale:

And stopped off for a healthy, nutritious lunch:

I eventually headed home to read a comic book. I have recently decided to send in a coupon to get a free autographed picture of OJ with my purchase of some Dingos. Wish me luck:

It's good to be back home. Just me, the horses, and the horsepucky. Ain't life grand?